Schmearch

Long celebrated for its superior quality, Maki’s DoshDosh blog had a strange effect on the blogosphere Monday: bloggers everywhere are calling it quits.

Evidently, DoshDosh’s reams of free high-quality content and stunning anime banners were too much for even above-average bloggers…

“What’s the point?” asked a despondent Michael Arrington. “He’s too good. Maki isn’t just exemplary, he’s perfect. I can’t keep up.”

Robert Scoble agreed. “People think I love video. But the main reason I moved to vlogging is because I can’t blog like Maki.”

As a result, Blog World Expo 2008 has been canceled. Organizer Rick Calvert said, “We’re sticking to our cancellation policy, which states that in the event all bloggers quit because doshdosh is too good, we’ll provide transformational counselors at no extra charge. If you still want to come to the expo, please do. We’ll hug it out. I kinda need a hug right now… wanna give me a hug?”

Maki was exultant. “I’m not stopping. I’m making doshdosh even better with animated anime and banners. TBS is giving me a TV show where I do the voices for an anime family… the Discovery Channel is doing a documentary called “Gosh Dosh It! The Making of Maki“… Osh Kosh B’gosh is releasing a pair of children’s overalls ‘Osh Kosh B’DoshDoshes‘… and Nike is doing a commercial about how all the bloggers want to be ‘Like Maki’.”

In response, the blogosphere is eerily quiet. Multiple-cult-of-personality Amanda Chapel tweeted, “This is just the kind of thing bloggers doth love to protest. But the little boys all ran home to mommy.”

Asked for his thoughts, Lyndon Antcliff riddled this: “If a blog gets famous in the forest and no one’s around to link to it, is it linkbait? I think not.”

The newly-conscious Google algorithm is depressed as well.

Commented one Google engineer, “Think about it: she’s used to an incredible amount of fresh content. Now it’s getting stale. It’s like web 1.0 all over again… boring. And right on the heels of the Linkbait Crash, I think this is too much for a newly-conscious algorithm to handle.”

What’s next for the blogosphere?

Says Robert Scoble, “Well we’re talking about it on FriendFeed. And I’ll probably do a series of vlogs about blog-separation anxiety… or depression… or something.”

Even Jason Calacanis was rattled. “I’ll be at the Blog World Expo. This isn’t over yet. Not by a long shot. Maki is going to have to answer for all this… oh yes… oh yes, Maki will pay!”